This summer my little family had the pleasure (and pain) of many houseguests. I guess that comes with the territory of having a baby, especially your first.
The first guest stayed for a week - and the visit was much over-extended. First of all, I was upset by the mere fact that I watched this guest sit on the couch and watch television while I cleaned the dishes and tried to eat before my baby cried for food. The guest only offered to hold the baby while I completed the household chores. I wish the guest would have offered to wash the dishes in the sink because I did feed this person during the visit. Also, it seems like common sense! Taking care of a newborn is very busy. I did not ask for this person to clean the dishes and I don't know that it would have mattered in this case. I also told said houseguest that my rule for the baby (to reduce risk for SIDS and other respiratory conditions) was no smoking. The baby is exposed to the chemicals and smoke that linger on a persons clothes. The excuse for not smoking: it is so hard and I've tried. My thoughts: whatever; obviously minimal effort was made if you weren't using electronic cigarettes, trying the patch, or medical interventions such as Wellbutrin or Chantix.
The first houseguest also purchased lottery tickets during the visit. I've made it known how much I hate that tax on the village idiot. The first time was a whatever type of situation, although the $2.00 tickets didn't have a high enough win ratio as compared to guests homestate. The part that angered me about the lottery ticket purchase was the second purchase during the week. We were on our way back from a comic book store and I heard my baby rousing in the back seat and made it a point to say that the baby needs to eat in a few minutes. Apparently, she wanted a newspaper (my mistake thinking this), so I pumped some gas. Little did I know that my child would be screaming in the back seat a few minutes later. This houseguest purchased a paper, snack, cashed in lottery tickets, and purchased new ones. My child screamed in the back seat of a car and refused to take a bottle that I prepared for her. I rushed home and rushed my baby to her room to calm her and feed her. The baby was very tense until just before I went to bed for the night.
The next houseguest was almost an improvement from the second. At least the dishes in the sink were cleaned. A couple of things angered me. One was the guest almost kicking me out of my house to watch the baby. WRONG thing to do. My husband and I were also told by the houseguest how proud this person was of the job that my husband and I were doing with the baby. Thanks. Like I need approval on how to be a parent to a newborn (which isn't that hard... all they do is eat, sleep, and excrete waste for most of the day). Thank goodness for a three day visit and the fact that these visitors do not live within driving distance.
The last houseguest was the most laid back. We smoked salmon, cared for the baby, cooked some delish bombster scallops and even made a trip to Abbots in the Rough. The DH and I subsequently suffered a bout of intoxication from something in our shellfish that night... but I should digress. Things were cleaned (unlike with the first visitor) and I was not told anything that hinted this visitor wanted to give me approval for anything related to my domicile or rearing of a newborn. The only thing bothersome was having to hide breastfeeing. Um, it is natural and my has the kid grown because of my super milk. This visitor followed the three-day rule to a T. Too bad we live so far apart.
All in all, there is an art to handling your visitors. First, lay some ground rules. Trust me, it will make the visit much easier. Then ASK not expect or assume for help. I probably would have suffered a "why?" or something similar from my first visitor. Remember, I just had a baby and need help not a houseguest who expects me to cater to him/her, a newborn, and take care of myself.
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